Getting prepared

We have all seen them lying at the side of the John Reid Road clutching their blisters, or staggering into the first aid tent before they have reached the Tyne Bridge. What made them even consider they were capable of running a half-marathon anyway, when they wouldn't consider buying a newspaper to read the sports pages without getting into their car?

Now me, I've done the Great North Run twice. Well, not actually running....but we did provide the motivational music for the runners on the final straight. That was us, just next to Minchella's ice-cream kiosk. Timing, that's what you need to do the Great North Run successfully. We got through every barrier seconds before the road was closed in the morning. Perhaps we got a bit cocky. For our second appearance, the bassplayer arrived and told us he'd got there in twenty minutes - half-an-hour ago he was in his pit! "Where's your bass then Malcolm?" I asked. His missus was summoned and arrived, purple-faced, an hour and a quarter later, complaining of diversions and rat-runs. It was quite a while afterwards that she admitted she had also dashed straight out of bed on her mercy mission before realising, half-way to Shields that she had also......forgotten the bass!

So, be prepared, is what I say. The walking programme has started...to the Tap and Spile, to the Rat and last week, St.Oswald's Tea Rooms. Hmmm, bit of a pattern developing there - I must remember to pack refreshments for the real walks.

The most gruelling day in the programme so far has been the "Toon Trail". I'd promised the Grey Bombshell that we would get some proper waterproofs and walking shoes and, yes, if you really want a new rucksack dear.... I had planned on twenty-five, thirty minutes at most. But no, I ascended and descended Dean Street / Grey Street on at least three occasions. Don't buy the first item you see. It needs to be compared in at least two other shops. And is it in this season's colour? Apparently biscuit is the new brown and eclipse is... well I am not sure if it's black or blue, but I bought one.

Back in the internet cafe we looked up Lyme disease - my mother warned me about it when I said I was going walking in the fields. Nasty little critters these sheep ticks - I think I'll just pop back down Dean Street for a pair of extra-long hiking socks.

The Office Walker
Grey's Monument, 20 miles east of base camp.